DOODLE OF THE WEEK #7 The Parakeet without a Pair of Feet

Poor little Parakeet.  Cleaning his cage is an absolute mess.  Because of his stumps for feet he has to have a flat surface at the bottom of the cage without bars or holes, otherwise he gets his legs stuck.  Because of this there isn't a tray to slide out, unlike with the cages with bars, so when it's time to clean everything has to be scrubbed.

Drinking water can get awkward...

How does he do with perching?  Not really well.  Without those long claws wrapping itself around a branch, Parakeet without feet has to straddle the branch and use his wings to balance his weight.  It's a very sad and pathetic sight.

His songs are somewhat muffled as well, seeing as how he is constantly brushing his beak against the flat ground.

Sometimes he can walk, but it's very awkward, like the clown in the circus on those leg extender things.  With each step you are afraid the clown is going to lose his balance and topple.

Poor Parakeet without a Pair of Feet.

So, I have had two parakeets in my life, neither were ever as interesting as this doodle.  One flew away, and one passed away.  However I have a story about a friend's Parrot that I would like to share.


I remember my friend got a Parrot and they had it in a big cage out for display.  I thought the Parrot was really awesome, well, at first anyway.  The thing bit me, like, all the time.  My friend's mother told me that he sensed fear, but I wasn't scared of him until he bit me.  So why did he bite me the first time, then?  

Anyway, as the little moron that I was, my friend and I decided to take him out of the cage.  And guess what the Parrot did?  No joke, the thing flew right at me.  His wings weren't clipped, so he had no problems chasing me around the house.  A little later my friend and  I had escaped into the bathroom.  For my friend it was a game, no one was biting him, but for me, it was life and death.  Safe at last, I thought.  We sat in the darkness for a moment, I flipped the switch of the light and guess what?  The Parrot had managed to land on my friends shoulder just before we slammed the door shut, undetected.  I swear I've seen things like this in the movies.

So I ran out of the bathroom.  I didn't have anywhere else to go but up the stairs.  He was catching up to me.  I remember turning around and pleading (well maybe not out loud) and seeing the glint in the eyes of the bird.  They were pure red evil and there was nothing I could say to change its mind.  It wanted to kill me.  I still have the image in my mind's eye, almost like it was in slow motion, the wings flapping, the hideous noise it screeched as its beat clicked.  I thought it would go for my eyes, so I curled up in a ball right on the stairs.  He attacked the back of my neck and pulled off skin and let me tell you, it hurt!  I still have a small bump on the back of my neck from the attack. My friend's sister saved me.  Apparently she could pick up the evil bird without any issues, and it calmed down straight away.

So, I guess the moral of the story is, if something hates you, don't play with it.  It's bad news.

DOODLE OF THE WEEK #6 Tabby Cat vs Flabby Rat

Have you ever opened your window and heard a stray cat hissing in the alley below?  Maybe try listening closer next time, wait and see, you might soon be hearing the sounds of an epic fight to the death.

Don't get too close, it's gonna get messy.

Only the toughest cats survive on the streets.  Sometimes you will see the results of their fights on their face, paws, or legs.  Rats on the other hands are born survivors, they can squeeze through the smallest places, and when necessary they are vicious, vicious fighters. 

So... rats are gross.  Cats are scary.  There isn't even a word to describe what happens when these two creatures get together and duel.

Not a big fan of either species.

Now I want to point out that some cats are okay.  I have had friendly neighborhood cats come up to me and greet me, just for the sake of saying hello.  However, I have met just as many crazy cats that would surely eat me if they were three times their size.

We had a cat growing up, her name was Sweepy.  That cat was absolutely insane.  Some of my siblings told me that I provoked her whenever she attacked me, which is absolutely not true.   The cat loved to sleep on my sister's bed.  I remember walking into her room, and petting Sweepy.  She was purring, happy, eyes closed, and I swear I DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING STUPID.  I didn't pull her tail, or rip out a hair.  I was just calmly petting her along her back and then the next instant the cat bit my nose and clawed my cheeks.

Demon cat.

This next picture isn't Sweepy.  I just did a google search for tabby cats and this is what I pulled up. 

Seriously if this cat was big enough, he would eat you

Some rats actually are okay.  I had a pet rat named Copper growing up, she was given to me when she was a bit older, but she would come to me when I called her name.  Copper was cool, but the rats crawl into your home and poop on your floor?  Not so cool.

I never realized how smart rats were until I had one.  That's the scary thing about them, you kill one and fifteen more take its place.  Rats definitely benefit from humans being the dominant creatures on the planet.  With our garbage and food everywhere, they are in heaven.  Perhaps the rats are plotting to take everything over at some point.  No one would suspect vermin.

Imagine finding this rat's poop in your kitchen

This is where the cool cats come in place.  The cool ones are the good guys.  The nice cats that would come up to you and sleep next to your leg, they are the ones fighting the good fight.  Keeping the bad rats in the sewers.  Perhaps they are enlisting the smart rats, the good ones, as spies, so they can thwart any type of rat plan.  

This is the only possible explanation for why only some rats, and some cats are cool.

DOODLE OF THE WEEK #5 The Knocktopus

A giant Octopus crawls from the ocean onto the pier, causing widespread panic among the people.  His eyes narrow on a man, heavier set than the others, and looking absolutely delicious.  He slides with his tentacles after him.

The man runs as fast as he can but he can't hold up the pace for long, this is the first time he has run in probably three years.  Easy pickings, the Octopus thinks.  Soon he snatches the man, but finds holding him still more difficult than he expected.  His suction cups are still moist and greasy from sliding out of an oil polluted ocean.

The man has a free arm flailing about, appearing to do some sort of twist, almost like a dance while inside the coils. 


"Just hold still!" the Octopus mutters. "Stop squirming!  This will only take a sec."

The man breaks another arm free.  With an exasperated sigh, Octopus' eyes dance around for something that could help him.  He sees a sign that reads "Bob's Hardware."  With a giant tentacle he crashes into it.

"Bingo," the Octopus says.

He procures a hammer and aims it at the man's head.  Biting his tongue, the Octopus concentrates and...

WAM!

The man is knocked unconcious.

NOW THAT'S A KNOCKTOPUS!

 

The Knocktopus!

I guess the moral of the story is not to build hardware shops on piers.  Who is going to hang out at the pier, buy some soft shelled crab and a necklace made out of shark teeth, and then a drill, or a 2x4?  No one.  It only arms the octopi, and makes their job easier.

DOODLE OF THE WEEK #4 Flyon, Skyger and Cheetair

Sorry about the lack of posts this week, been busy, but I have some fun things planned for this week so please check back!


The Sensational Set of Flying Felines!

People have short memories.

Remember when Flyon (world's first flying lion), injured from a fight with his arch nemesis Cheetair, managed to save the world from a speeding comet?

Of course you don't.

Remember the other member of the Sensational Set of Flying Felines, Skyger (world's first flying tiger) defused a nuclear bomb in the middle of Manhattan with his eyes?

Definitely not.

No, what everyone remembers is the Sensational Set being seconds late to stop Cheetair from destroying a building with his volatile missiles.

CHEETAIR


The awful, treacherous, villainous and overall jerk. The world's first trillionaire. Jealous of the Sensational Set's ability to fly, he has created numerous weapons of flight. With a limitless bank account, he has been able to create missiles that shoot almost as fast as the speed of light.

He once held the position of President of the United States, but it lasted only a few days because Flyon exposed him for selling Nuclear Arms to terrorists.

He has stated numerous times in his speech that it isn't safe for the world to rely on Flyon and Skyger to fix the world's problems. The Sensational Set has no issue with the world becoming more self-reliant, but, when duty calls they must answer. Cheetair has taken his opinion too far, trying to destroy Flyon and Skyger. He creates problems in the city, paying mobsters, arming drug dealers, helping bank robbers, all to try to force the Sensational Set into an early retirement.

FLYON

The more powerful of the Sensational Set. Some hypothesize that he is actually a being from another planet. He wears a mask to protect his identity, and he took Skyger on as his apprentice. Those that he has saved say he has a soft green glow about him, perhaps something to do with radioactivity.

A few weeks into Cheetair's presidency he revealed top secret photos of Flyon's creation. An Air Force plane carrying a Nuclear bomb lost control of its engines and crashed into an erupting Volcano somewhere in Africa. The radioactive lava shot across the valley, leveling entire forests.  Instead of melting Flyon, it merged with his genetic makeup.

Once Flyon learned of his powers, he has spent his life giving out justice.

SKYGER

It wasn't long after Flyon began his journey that he realized he couldn't do it alone. No one knows exactly how he found Skyger. Some theories say that Skyger was trained by reclusive monks that know the secret of flight. Others say that Flyon has shared radioactive lava with him. Some even say that hidden under his cape is a jet pack.

Regardless, Skyger has proved to be an essential part of the Sensational Set.


The next time you look up in the sky, search for the Sensational Set. Just a glimpse will give you luck for a whole week!

DOODLE OF THE WEEK #3 The BAMster!

Every once and a while there's an action hero that was so incredibly awesome that people still quote the movie...

"I'll be back." -Arnold in Terminator
"Yipee Kiyaa Mother ******!" -Bruce Willis in Die Hard
"When you're pushed, killing is as easy as breathing." - Sylvester Stallone in Rambo

There are some movies not even close to the popularity as the ones above but they still get great quotes.  Such as Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando.

"Going commando..." 

Wait...I'm not sure that one is in the movie.  And that isn't being really tough...going commando.  I'd hope Schwarzenegger didn't really go commando in Commando.

Here is the next action hero that will be stuck in pop culture references for generations.  Look out G-Force.  It's the...

Yeah.  I told you...it's awesome!

This Hamster is full of so much "Bam" that he is an entirely different species.  Yes, he is the BAMster!

Most hamsters use their cheek pouches to carry food.  Bamster uses his to carry an entire tank, weapons locker, and also grenades...lots and lots of grenades!

"Don't touch that water bottle!  It's rigged to blow!" -The BAMster!
"I'm gonna make you wish you bought a parakeet!" -The BAMster!
"Touch that chew toy one more time and we will see what gets chewed." -The BAMster!
"Eat sawdust!" -The BAMster!

One memorable scene from the movie:

RANDOM BYSTANDER

Hey, that mouse just blew up that house!

BAMSTER

I'm no mouse, honey...

Bamster spits something onto the foot of the bystander.  

RANDOM BYSTANDER

Eww... what is-

KABOOM!

Alright, well that's all I have for this doodle.  Any other quotes you think BAMster would make?  Sound off in the comments! 

DOODLE OF THE WEEK #2 Dragon on a Wagon

So I was saving this post for tomorrow, but because I am going to be busy, I am posting it now. 

YES!  A DRAGON ON A WAGON!

You might be asking, "Why exactly would a dragon need a wagon?  A dragon has wings."  To which I would reply, "A LOT OF REALLY COOL STUFF!"

When I had a radio flyer growing up, I took it all over the neighborhood with me.  Sometimes I would throw my toys in it, or take cherries from my neighbors tree.  I remember having jars of bugs that I found, or just whatever I found interesting, like rocks or branches.

One memory of mine is of my friend Aaron and I going down a steep street in the radio flyer.  He was a little older than me so he was steering.  When we started to pick up speed Aaron bailed onto a neighbor's lawn.  I was pretty scared, I hadn't steered before, and if I went to the bottom of the street I thought would get hit by a car at the intertsection.  I turned hard and the whole wagon toppled over.  I was left with scrapes and cuts all over my knees and elbows.  I probably would have just lied there on the ground crying, wallowing in self pity, but a neighbor at the bottom of the street came out to help me.  He had a beard and I rarely saw him, so he scared the crap out of me.  He only wanted to help, but I remember desperately heaving the radio flyer back onto its wheels and running away, back up the street.

Do you have any wagon memories you would like to share?

DOODLE OF THE WEEK #1 Parrot and his best friend Carrot

Another one of my soon to be regular features!  The Doodle of the Week!  I had a supervisor at work once that loved my silly post-it note drawings so much she had them all over her desk, stuck to the computer, on the edges of her cubicle, etc.  Anyway, I want to share some of them. 


I had to edit this one a little bit because it had smudges, so it doesn't look like much of a post-it note anymore. 

PARROT AND HIS BEST FRIEND, CARROT

As you can see, Parrot is telling his very good friend Carrot something hilarious.  Is it a secret?  Are they planning something?  You tell me.  Sound off in the comments!