The man runs as fast as he can but he can't hold up the pace for long, this is the first time he has run in probably three years. Easy pickings, the Octopus thinks. Soon he snatches the man, but finds holding him still more difficult than he expected. His suction cups are still moist and greasy from sliding out of an oil polluted ocean.
The man has a free arm flailing about, appearing to do some sort of twist, almost like a dance while inside the coils.
"Just hold still!" the Octopus mutters. "Stop squirming! This will only take a sec."
The man breaks another arm free. With an exasperated sigh, Octopus' eyes dance around for something that could help him. He sees a sign that reads "Bob's Hardware." With a giant tentacle he crashes into it.
"Bingo," the Octopus says.
He procures a hammer and aims it at the man's head. Biting his tongue, the Octopus concentrates and...
The man is knocked unconcious.
NOW THAT'S A KNOCKTOPUS!
I guess the moral of the story is not to build hardware shops on piers. Who is going to hang out at the pier, buy some soft shelled crab and a necklace made out of shark teeth, and then a drill, or a 2x4? No one. It only arms the octopi, and makes their job easier.