Sunday, May 22, 2011


Name one mythological animal that has gotten the shaft more than Pigasus.  Name one!  Yeah, you can't.  Let's face it, pigs aren't pretty animals.  My wife will try to argue they are "cute" or "sweet" or "intelligent" but they are in no way majestic.  Through rare documents dated centuries ago, I can in fact vouch that Pigasus personally flew Perseus to battle the Kraken (not to be confused with the battle of the "cracklins" -- my wife insisted I include that).  But when they carved the statue of Perseus riding on the back of a pig, people scoffed and said, "yeah, right, like pigs could ever fly, that's not realistic."

When someone says to you, "Right, when pigs fly," what they are really saying is "Right, that will never happen."


Despite the hate, Pigasus keeps trucking along...

Because there is almost nothing on the "unipig" variety of Pigasi, I will give you some of the finer points.

-Some pigs can fly.  Those that do are part of the Pigasi family.

-Some pigs have a single horn, like a unicorn, some don't.  Rumor has it, that all Pigasi at one point will grow a horn.  Not only that, there is a possibly that a farm pig you saw win the blue ribbon actually is a Pigasi.  Perhaps instead of becoming bacon, the owner should allow it to age, grow wings, and after hundreds of years, a horn.


I have close sources that tell me that Pigasus had at one point been portrayed properly in the new Clash of the Titans movie.  However Warner Bros changed its mind at the last moment.  I have located the following memo:

Dear Director,

Thank you for making this movie.  You are super good at making movies.  I really like Incredible Hulk.  Maybe we can play golf tomorrow?  

Anyway, this is a business correspondence so enough with the pleasantries.  The Board of Directors and myself have seen the concept artwork for the movie, and I have got to say we are thoroughly impressed.  Our one point of contention is the Pig.  What is a pig doing flying?  I think audiences will have a hard time believing in both the Kraken AND a flying pig.  Scratch it, or you're finished.

Warmest Regards,

CEO Big Wig

Such a shame!  Poor...poor Pigasus.

Sigh...what could have been...

Next time you pick up a Greek Mythology book, ask yourself, why not Pigasus?  Rick Riordan had a great opportunity to end the prejudice against Pigasus in Percy Jackson. I think it would have worked splendidly.

Your day will come, Pigasus.  Just wait.

No comments:

Post a Comment